It’s exhausting fighting my own body everyday.

Alot of people can’t or won’t understand my chronic pain. Do you know how frustrating it is to have pain internally and look okay on the outside? A lot of people call you crazy or dramatic. I have my good days and my bad days.

Like today for example, I decided I wanted some extra cash so I went and did some Instacart for about 3 hours. I was on a roll until I felt my body crash. I felt my body dragging on the cart as I’m trying my best to finish my job and get the hell out so I could get home. It didnt help that there was a lot of people there and with my anxiety and wearing a mask it made it even harder so all in all it was a good day until my body decided it was time for me to go home. My pain limits me to a lot of things in life. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a hospital ceiling or my own ceiling or just even the toilet for hours. I remember I would be sitting there and i would bruise my legs from my elbows because of how long I was in the bathroom for. I can’t even explain to you the pain...

just image having a UTi but it burns and it feels like someone is twisting a knife into your uterus and there is nothing you can do but sit it out. Let me introduce you to my friend endometriosis. She has been a pain my ass since I was in my presteens and I can’t even tell you how many times I let her win. But each day it’s a battle because my body is fighting itself to even just get out of bed or to go do something as basic as grocery shop. But again the pain is unbearable and with people who don’t have endo they can’t understand the pain or how long it takes for the pain to go away.

im strong, even though most days I feel weak.